I know that so many people have posted online about hoʻoponopono. I wonder how many of those people truly understand the true meaning and process. Hoʻoponopono is a wonderful gift. Itʻs not just a few words, phrases or a short prayer repeated over and over like a chant with mala beads. It is a whole process of understanding, forgiveness (both yourself and others) appreciation and love. It must be understood by all. Not just the offender. Those impacted by a certain deed or circumstance must also come to terms. Forgiveness and understanding from those offended is every bit as important in hoʻoponopono as for the one seeking the forgivness.

Not all problems can be solved by just apologizing. People say,”I am sorry, please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.” That is a good thing. But what does it really mean? How do we make Hoʻoponopono really work for us? What makes it work? Why is the process sacred and why does it work?

Hoʻoponopono... Pono is correct, righteous, virtuous. When repeated the meaning is intensified. Hoʻo means to make so... To make things right, true... to correct.

When you apologize, You have to mean it. Understand what went wrong. Feel from your naʻau. Remember that your apology is not only to another, it is to yourself as well. Even if you are “not at fault,” if you look deeper, you will see that you are also imperfect and so you also apologize. Apologize for your impatience, for any part you may have played, to your ʻaumākua, to everyone there. All parties in the process must completely open themselves to the process... be completely vulnerable. It need not necessarily be out loud. It just needs to be clear and true... Pono... Hoʻoponopono. This is part of the forgiveness. How can you forgive if you still hold animosity?

When you say, “please forgive me” you are asking forgiveness also for your shortcomings. Everyone involved must also do the same. Nobody is perfect. How can you forgive if you are looking down at someone? So all involved must seek the others’ aloha. And when you forgive, it must be complete. Not just saying, “OK, I forgive you.” It is a real and true thing. I know that when a person dies and crosses to the other side of the veil, all sins of this life are forgiven there because our souls, our ʻuhane are pure. And so, through hoʻoponopono, we strive for that purity in our forgiveness of others and forgiveness of ourselves.

The true emotions come through in hoʻoponopono. When we are pono and true in this process, we are given a second chance. It is very much a reason for thanks. The simple fact that people around you care enough about you to show up for you is a huge miracle. They know that you are a sacred being and that you are imperfect as they themselves are. So they are there for you. Thank you is the very least that one could say. When we realize why we are thanking someone, that is when forgiveness and love can flow both ways. Your thanks must be genuine. If it is not, none of our lives will be honored. We must be pono. All ego must fade. We must be true.

Then, only then, can everyone say “I love you.” Only when all of the parts fit together cleanly and pure can the love truly flow freely without reservation again. Then it is fixed. Hoʻoponopono.